Yes, I know – I should probably be writing this when I turn 30, or 40, or 60. Who says I’m not going to do that then, either?

I’ve learnt a lot of things in the past year – particularly as I’ve gone through some (what I would currently call) massive changes in my life. I didn’t learn much at 14, 16, or 18. These ‘changes’ are changes for me because they all disrupted a lifestyle or daily routine, and affected me to a large extent one way or another. They’re not the same, but they’ve all brought me to where I am now, and I’m pretty grateful.

1. I graduated and life is suddenly running at ten times the speed. Yeah, I know it’s a big change and is a given. But I didn’t experience university like the typical university student. I mean, I did, in the sense that I attended it and socialised (to an extent, but you’d be lucky if I went into that). There’s this stigma when you leave university that you instantly need to get it together. Hell, you’re expected to have it together halfway through your final year. ‘What are you doing next year?’ ‘What grad schemes have you been applying for?’ Honestly, just go away. How boring. No wonder so many young people are in jobs they hate and are stuck. Now, I’m not dissing grad schemes at all, in fact I think they’re great; I just think it’s unhealthy to plan everything. I had a conversation with someone the other week and they told me they wanted to be married at 27 and have kids by 29. What if you don’t? Will you feel like a failure? People get married in their 50s or even older, and you’re planning out your 20s like a ticking time bomb. Enjoy your 20s, you need this. Whatever happens happens, and you don’t need a partner to be happy. Yeah, love is damn great, but you’re great on your own too. Enjoy the spontaneity of life and stop worrying about what internship you’re going to get. You’ll get a job, and there’s no race. Wait and find something you love and sink your teeth into it. Nevertheless, graduating was definitely a shock to the system. I have a lot of regrets, and not making the most of university life was one of them. So for Christ’s sake, if you’re reading this and are doing some kind of further education, try to make the most of it and don’t leave every chance you get.
2. You might be with your partner for a long time, but don’t hang onto them if it’s not working out and stay in the relationship anyway. Don’t stay in the relationship if you’re not happy. You’re a free individual; do whatever the hell you want. You have to be selfish sometimes; it’s healthy. Yeah, you can be selfish for the wrong reasons, but if caring for yourself means you have to sacrifice certain things, do it. Your health is the most important thing. Don’t ignore the red flags and warning signs. Go with your gut, and if they’re not treating you the way you know should be treated, stop making excuses for them. It’s worse if they don’t have an excuse. Oh man, get out of there.
3. Don’t be afraid to enjoy sex and educate yourself on it. There is way too much stigma around this, and I feel being at university has alleviated this slightly. If you want to sleep with 10 people, go! If that’s not your thing, great! You’re not suddenly a terrible person if you like to have sex whether it’s with one person or twelve. Explore your own bodies and talk to your friends about it – no, you don’t have to speak to your entire friendship group, but speak to a friend or two that you can trust. You don’t have to share tips, but it helps a great deal to talk about our bodies and sex-related things.
4. This might sound silly, but don’t be a vegan or vegetarian if you don’t want to. It’s great for the environment and for the animals (and based on the many books I’ve read, your health, but don’t quote me on that please). However, if anyone is pressuring you to do it, remove yourself from the situation and take a step back. Respect each other’s boundaries.
5. DIETS. Oh my goodness. I can’t deal with this one. It’ll take me so long. Basically, just go and eat that piece of cake. Screw keto – you’re worth so much more than abs or capped shoulders. If eating better makes you feel good, great – I know the feeling. But for the love of GOD, stop dieting. I’ve been doing it since I was 16 when I had no reason to. There is a difference between making better choices and restricting. Don’t go down the latter hole, please. Not worth it, and you miss out on great food. Just take care of your body and don’t be afraid to eat. But we’ll get into eating later.
6. Delete Instagram when you feel it’s getting too much – you’re not missing out on your social life. Trust me. I have a love-hate relationship with this app, mainly because it’s so easy to get consumed by it, but once you do, it’s like a hit of dopamine, and don’t deny it. You love the attention, right? We all do. Has that person watched my story? Why haven’t they watched it? Why haven’t they liked my photo? Why did he like hers/his? I can tell you one thing – a like means nothing. So chill out, and stop worrying about a virtual click. If she/he likes you, you don’t have to wonder or worry. Remember that. Stop comparing your likes to someone else’s, or trying to ‘post at the right time’. You’re way more appealing than the number of likes you have.
7. Friends can be flaky and it sucks. But it doesn’t mean they’re bad friends. We all do it – we forget to text back, we didn’t RSVP, or we cancelled slightly last minute. Stuff happens, and we’re all in the same boat. Unless someone is actually treating you like you’re not worth their time, be patient with them – but be wary.
8. It’s okay to date, it’s okay to see different people, but if you don’t like someone, tell them. I’m guilty of ghosting and I hate it, because too often I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. But you’re hurting them more by ghosting them, so please just message them back if you’re actually not interested. They’ll appreciate it. And on that note, if you like someone and are actually seeing them, don’t go sleeping with someone else. If you would be hurt if it happened to you, then don’t do it.
9. On that note – cheating. I’ve only been in one serious relationship but I’ve seen this happen with people close to me. If you cheat, you’re actually just a bit of an asshole. Sorry. I wasn’t going to swear on my post, but there’s an excuse here. Man, if they cheat on you, it shows how highly they thought of you in the first place. You can do better. You will. For the love of God, don’t cheat on them. If you really think it’s worth ruining something, break up with them first and then do whatever the hell you want.
10. Talk to your parents. It’s not ‘uncool’ to call your parents. Seriously. They love you and miss you, and it means a lot to them when you let them know you’re thinking of them.
11. Wear whatever you want. Seriously, just do it. No one actually cares, and if they do, so? It’s your life. If you put it on and feel good about it, go about your day and you’ll be ten times happier once you realise the only opinion that matters is yours.
12. I’ve learnt to adopt a ‘who cares, life’s too short’ attitude. I try to be straightforward, I try to be honest, and I do and wear what I want. Be considerate of everyone around you but just do whatever you want. Life is so short. Send that text, put that top on, take that job, go on that trip, ask them out. Whatever. Life is so much better when you can look back on life and say ‘you know what? I’m glad I did it – then at least I know’. The worst thing in life is regret. Again, we’ll get into that later. Maybe.
13. You can take up a hobby at any point in time. You didn’t need to have started it when you were 5, or 12. Everyone starts somewhere, and if you don’t like it, that’s fine too! You can try something else. The whole point of life is experiencing, so try different things – you might meet some really cool people along the way too. Start saying ‘screw it’ and just turn up and try it.
14. It’s okay to enjoy things even if you’re not good at them. It’s okay to enjoy cooking even if you’re not very good at it. It’s fun to play tennis even if you’re shocking at it (like I am). It’s not about the competition all the time. Everyone can improve, and you’re taking the fun out of it if you make everything a competition. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and suddenly life is a little bit better.